i was broken ( GINERVA )

[Nicholas James Potter]

Nick just could not seem to focus. It could have been for the lack of interest in his History of Magic homework that he'd set out upon in the Library, but he knew there was an other, more obvious (to him) reason that he could not shake off. Really, he should not be feeling so bad, under the weather, and looking so sullen. His friends were beginning to talk to him in a new way, as if they were actually worried about him in his current state. He'd been trying to stay away from the thing he needed the most, but it was affecting his state of being, his external features, and his mood. Nick assured everyone that he was perfectly fine, he was just a bit ill, and now sitting at the Library with his friends, he felt like the outcast. They were all doing their homework, as normal, and usually Nick would be right at it, focusing on the subject and writing hastily for fear that he would miss any information (his father swore that he was really Hermione's child with the way he worked at homework). But now, he could not put the quill to parchment, nor find the correct sentence. his vision would go blurry. And any moment that he made the slightest of movements, his friends watched him from the corner of their eye, just to make sure he was not going to get sick or fall over, crumble, and die right there. He was beginning to grow irritated of it, it irked him so much, and so he shut his History of Magic book, causing everyone to jump slightly and direct their eyes his way. "I'm going for a walk. Can't focus right now. I'll meet you all in the Common Room." Nick informed them, and through all the hushed voices and stares around him, Nick gathered his belongings, placed them in his school bag, slung it over his shoulder, and he was out of there.

Nick hated the attention he got for being a Potter. Evermore, the attention he got that accompanied the whispers and hushed voices and stares. He got a love note one year, asking for him to make a girl a Potter by marrying her. Some people could seriously be really idiotic, really thick at times. Nick was not a pessimist, no, quite the opposite. He cared for people, their well being. He was kind and loyal to his friends, and open to meeting new people. The shoulder to lean or cry on, and the person to make people laugh at his jokes. Lately, with his state, he was just not feeling up to his pranks or jokes, nor listening to people whine on about their lives. Nick just wanted to be left right alone, to deal with his own problems, especially the big one affecting his body and mind. Nick was a vampire. Had been since his Third Year, and he had not told anybody about what he was. To him, it would tarnish his name, and the family name. He didn't even tell his older brother, who he often confided in, or his father. Oh, his father would definitely be happy about that. He would probably throw a fit at Nick's mother, Ginny, and then alert every wizard in every country that vampires were turning their children, throwing the wizarding world into high panic. Just what Nick needed to endure. He could already feel the humiliation seeping through for that. Everyone would look at him differently after that, and as if being a Potter wasn't attention enough, being a vampire would be even worse to have the world know about. That was why Nick kept his mouth shut about it, and said nothing to anybody. It was his best kept secret, and it felt like a disease one could not cure. Could it be cured? Nick did not know, but since he became a vampire, Nick did not have anyone to help him, teach him about being a vampire. It was all relatively new to him, and he had to teach himself to hunt and to hide his vampiric nature. It was a blessing that in Defense Against the Dark Arts, the teacher had covered vampires as a subject, so he learned more about what he was and what he was supposed to do.

Nick did not want to trudge all the way up to the Ravenclaw Tower, so he decided his best choice was to go outside and get fresh air. He walked calmly down the stairs, his footfalls echoing off the walls. He had his uniform on, all except the cloak and sweater vest. It was far too warm a spring day to be wearing those. Usually, he'd have run down the stairs, bouncing off the steps, but today, he was not feeling very up to it. His curly, unruly hair was as usual a mess, but everyone knew he could do nothing about it. It was curly, that's how it went, and every time he brushed it or cut it, it would go right back to the same style and length it had been previously. There was no hope left for his hair. Exiting the building with a sense of hunger, Nick knew exactly where he was going. He was weaker than usual, and he knew it, he saw it in himself as clear as day. The sun beamed down at him, and thankfully for a spell that existed, Nick was able to go outside, into the sunlight, and enjoy each and every day as he pleased. He passed the Whomping Willow, which was airy, strangely unmoving. But Nick knew better than to get any closer, especially after what his father told him about the willow tree. It could lash out lethally when it wanted to, and seriously injure anyone. Nick looked toward it with dark chocolate colored eyes, and then looked away, into the grounds. He was walking straight for the Forbidden Forest. why they even bothered to inform the students that it was forbidden was something Nick could not comprehend. Almost everyone had been in there and had experienced something or another, including Nick. But for now, as he reached the fringe of it, he halted. He figured maybe sitting outside of it might make him feel better. Nick turned, sat against a tree, and leaned his head back to rest a bit. Maybe nobody would notice him there, looking rather hollow and sullen, and they'd be on their way.